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girl: i'm having vagina surgery
boyfriend: i know
girl: i love you
boyfriend: i love you too
after surgery she wakes up and only dad is there
girl: where is my boyfriend
dad: who do you think gave you the vagina
girl: what

suckmyphallus:

attention everyone

this is what a russian 404 page looks like

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before people get to know me: Oh my god you're so shy...and quiet...it's adorable
after we become friends: DEAR GOD DO YOU EVER SHUT UP

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my sister just made these things called doughnut muffins holy shit theyre basically like deep fried muffins

fucking yeah.

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playing video games
someone: hey
10 minutes later
me: I DIED AND ITS BECAUSE YOU WERE TALKING

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